Client: I feel tired of my relationship with my wife. I feel as if she is judging and rejecting me. I have tried everything......everything. She is not letting me in. We are now at a point where the space between us has become thick, and I feel like I am breathing in toxic air. It's out of control. I don't think I can change anything. I have tried everything. She is not letting me in. I think I have to take a break from our relationship to find clarity.
Me: Rather than you choosing a story of her judging and rejecting you..... What would happen if you would allow yourself to drop deeply into yourself, into a place where your assumptions are replaced by true vision. A great deal of power resides in those areas "in-between". Spaces easily overlooked....often neglected to see. You would see the condition of your wife's "heart". At first, it may be uncomfortable and scary for you to acknowledge the "unseen" parts of your wife. However, if you are open, I am willing to share with you what I "see".
Client: I am open. Sure, tell me.
Me: She is waiting for you. There is a great deal of longing in her. She is sad that you have resigned yourself to seeing an object instead of the true soul you have married. She has given you the key to her sacred space. Even though you have not used this key, she still has not changed the lock. Her heart is longing for your love, and she has not given up. She is still waiting. Not for hearts and flowers, no. She wants your love in the form of strength and presence. A strength that cuts through the toxic thickness of the relational field you both have created. She wants your fearlessly leaning into the appearance and see the essence instead. The true greatness of her soul. And all the hurt she carries, like a crown of thorns enclosing her heart. Breathe in all the good and the bad. There are very lonely spaces in her heart. She is waiting for you to walk there with her. She needs you to step forward as the man. Her vision of you also bears resemblance to the person you want to be, but are afraid of becoming. Owning this vision is where your power resides.
Me: This relationship is not happening "to" you. As we both know, the condition of our inner relational configurations are often perfect mirrors for what takes place on the "outside". In other words, everything I shared about your wife's "heart" would also be an accurate depiction of the condition of your own inner feminine, your feeling soul. There is no difference between you "seeing" your wife vis-a-vis you allowing to receive yourself fully. I therefore suggest we look at both angles concurrently as we move along.
Image: Splendor Solis–Plate Four